Through my extensive knowledge and experience in driving – one year to be exact – I have noticed a few types of drivers who need to reevaluate their life choices. I’ve encountered multiple near-accident experiences because of too-blind of drivers, or girls who can’t keep their eyes off themselves in the rear view mirror. This can no longer continue. If you, or anyone you know, fits into one of the bellow profiles, please seek immediate help as a driver.
Type A: The Squinter
The Squinter is typically the older generation. These are the people with glasses so thick it amazes me they can even see through them. They are the people leaning so far over their steering wheel that you just know they can’t see the unbelievably large red STOP sign. All you want to do when noticing this driver who can’t see is pull an illegal U-turn and put as much distance between you and them as possible. Please help raise awareness of these drivers.
Type B: The Eater
You have the sudden urge to open your car door and just throw up because of the disgustingness radiating out of the car next to you at the stop light. A greasy, dripping sandwich lies in the hand of a man desperately chewing as if it was his last bite ever. The worst part is that he continues to drive as he eats and you just know his best driving skills will not be displayed in this situation. We have the duty, as a society, to remind people to eat before or after a drive.
Type C: The Make-Up Artist
I understand, ladies. I love make-up as much as the next girly-girl but I smartly chose not to use my dashboard and rear view mirror as my vanity station. If you’re applying lipstick and mascara and you hear honks coming from the cars around you, make no mistake, they are directed at you. Sometimes your looks will have to be spared in order to consider the safety of cars around you. It’s a hard fact to come to terms with, I know. But remember, there is probably someone who can help – like a therapist or some sort of family intervention.
If we simply help these types of people recognize the wrongness in these actions, our roads may become less of a battle for life, and more of the stereotypical fun time. Like how driving looks in all those music videos with abnormally pretty people driving in convertibles and then hanging out in parking lots with a beautiful sunset in the background.
