I mean, the video is pathetic. Someone as technically inept as my grandmother could set up the opening special effects. Who wakes up wearing lip gloss and perfect eye makeup? The guy in the driver’s seat doesn’t even look like his age is in the double digits. Sitting on the seat like that can’t be street legal, and why the dilemma over which seat to take anyway? Pretty sure four of the five seats in that shiny silver convertible are taken. Most disturbing is the rapper with the stubble; I think there are laws against grown men getting that excited about the approach of a school bus.

Don’t know what I’m talking about? You’re obviously not one of the 98 million people (as of press time) who have watched 13-year-old Rebecca Black’s viral hit “Friday” on YouTube. Created by Ark Music Factory (I suggest looking up its other equally hilarious videos), the song has barreled its way into pop culture, and the parodies, analyses and responses just keep coming. It peaked at number 19 on the iTunes Top 100.

The lyrics are just as puzzling as the video. Why do you only mention the friend to your right? I’m sure that does wonders for the self-esteem of the girl on your left. The bridge is as follows: “Yesterday was Thursday. Today, it is Friday. We, we, we so excited. We gonna have a ball today. Tomorrow is Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards.”

The lyricist’s elementary school teachers obviously did a fine job with teaching the days of the week, but he must have missed the lessons on subjects and verbs.

Comments on the official video range from “Pop those pimples on your face” to “U sound like a Cat dying” to “I hope you get hit by a car on friday. I’LL SING IT AT YOUR FUNERAL.” Those are the mild, non-explicit ones. On Twitter, “Go slit your wrists, Rebecca Black” was a top tweet a few weeks ago. Ms. Black has become the web’s new favorite punching bag.

Here, however, is where the story gets sad. Rebecca Black is 13 years old. She has a crush on Justin Bieber, and her parents are veterinarians. She tweets things like “Homework is gross.” When I was 13, I had multi-colored braces and was just trying to survive Algebra I. Cut the kid some slack.

Imagine if millions of faceless, anonymous Internet trolls told your 13-year-old sister, cousin or best friend to slit her wrists. While jokes about the song as a replacement for the death penalty may get some online lol-ing, Rebecca Black is a human being, and the barrage of Internet cut-downs are sending a pretty horrific message to any middle schooler wanting to pursue his or her dreams. Youth suicide is a real and current problem, and when everyone from President Obama to the Boy Scouts is condemning cyberbullying, the treatment of Rebecca Black seems pretty repulsive.

Fortunately, the RB saga looks like it might have a happy ending. Simon Cowell and Lady Gaga have both called Rebecca Black “genius.” Black gets a 50 percent cut of all profits made from the song, and Forbes estimates it can earn her over $1 million. She plans to donate a good chunk of her profits to Japan relief efforts and school arts programs, and she’s reportedly releasing a full album on Dec. 21. As for my thoughts? Condemn the crummy lyrics and bad producing from Ark Music Factory, not the little girl. You go, Black. We were all awkward and 13 once, too.

dcoggan@thekirkwoodcall.com

• Click here to see the video on YouTube.
• Click here to check out our Rebecca Black edition of Now Hear This, where Emma Lawson and Zach Beuckman capture student and staff reactions to the song.

Under Kirkwood dress code policy, administrators claimed this was a slang use of the word “hell” and asked Michelle to change into a different shirt.

“Outside the school environment, it might be fine,” Kirkwood School District Community Relations Director Ginger Fletcher said to Fox 2 News, “but anything within the school that is inappropriate, vulgar use of language might create a disruption in the school, we’ll ask the student to modify the garment.”

Ramirez refused to change her shirt, supported by her mother Christina. Both Michelle and Christina claim the word is used in a religious way. According to Fletcher, federal law mandates that school officials cannot force a student to remove clothing that includes a religious emblem unless it is causing a disruption.

“At first I was mad, but now I’m happy my teachers got the message,” Ramirez said. “I didn’t want to take my shirt off because of my faith.”

In these pages, you can find your go-to guide to all things spring break. We’ve included steps on how to get that beach bod, what new movies to watch and new albums to listen to when all your friends are out of town, and, guys, why you may want to leave the Speedo at home. We’ve also switched up the format just for this issue, trading our normal tabloid size for a magazine style. As always, we’d love to hear any feedback you have on the issue, so comment on a story online or send us a letter to the editor.

One final favor: If you’re traveling for spring break, bring your copy of The Call with you and send us your photos! Our favorites will be published in our April issue.

Have a happy and safe break!

Pick up a copy in the racks around school, the main office or the journalism room.

Listen to a clip from the performance below.

Patrice Jackson and Mark O’Connor from The Kirkwood Call on Vimeo.

That phrase is often attributed to Mark Twain, except there’s no record of him ever saying or writing it. We do know, however, that he once wrote in a letter, “When a library expels a book of mine and leaves an unexpurgated Bible lying around where unprotected youth and age can get hold of it, the deep unconscious irony of it delights me and doesn’t anger me.”

Wherever Mr. Twain is today, he is giggling uncontrollably at the irony.

An Alabama publishing company plans to publish an edited version of Twain’s Huckleberry Finn, replacing the n-word with “slave” and changing “Injun” to “Indian.” Cue the national outrage. Scholars, news outlets and teachers have all expressed their disgust at the proposed change. One author with a sense of humor ran with the controversy, self-publishing Huck Finn but replacing the n-word with “hipster.” It’s a fun read, to say the least.

The Alabama professor Alan Gribben who’s spearheading the campaign hopes to make the novel less controversial and spare readers any discomfort from reading the words. After all, replacing the two words will totally negate any discomfort. The death, drunkenness, family abuse, slavery and racism in Huck Finn are all quite comfortable to read.

Wait, Twilight makes me feel uncomfortable. I can censor that, right?

In the spirit of Professor Gribben, I’m pleased to present a few more bowdlerized literature classics from the KHS curriculum in a more “comfortable” style.

• William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet

Offensive material: Teen suicide.

Proposed changes: R and J are both over 18. The feuding families overcome their differences in support of the young lovers, who live to a ripe old age and die of natural causes. Mercutio and Tybalt settle their dispute with water guns.

• William Golding’s Lord of the Flies

Offensive material: Portrayal of savagery and pessimistic view on human nature.

Proposed changes: The boys on the island bond and form a democratic society. Evenings are spent singing popular campfire songs. Piggy’s favorite is “The Wheels On The Bus.”

• Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird

Offensive material: Racism and social pressure.

Proposed changes: Tom is never charged. The trial does not happen. Boo is a productive, prominent member of society. The happy community is not affected by the Great Depression. Yawn.

• Chinua Achebe’s Things Fall Apart

Offensive material: Brutality, racism and European imperialism.

Proposed changes: Okonkwo and the Europeans become BFFs, spending every Thursday together getting manicures and having lunch at the bistro. Okonkwo thinks the “Serene Sapphire” polish best compliments his eyes.

Offensive material: Everything.

Proposed changes: Everything.

The point is, Professor Gribben, Huck Finn is a timeless classic and an unflinching look at both history and human nature. The original has a note by Twain in the appendix detailing his attempt to “painstakingly” reproduce the dialects and culture of Missouri. The detail and steadfast portrayal of Midwestern America in the 1830s and 40s is what makes the book worth studying in school, and understanding the message of Huck Finn can make a student a better human being and spark meaningful dialogue. To edit the book is to forge history. Sounds to me like a main argument from another consistently censored book: George Orwell’s 1984.

“I’ve always been hyper and never that good at sports,” Hensley said, “but the outdoors has always been with me through fishing, hunting and now trap shooting. It’s just perfect.”

In Hensley’s freshman year of high school, he began to realize very quickly that he would not be participating in any KHS sports. KHS had no activity to satisfy his love for nature and the outdoors until he met Jayce Raber, a 2010 graduate and coach at the Jay Henges trap shooting range. Raber happened to be holding a meeting for students interested in trap shooting the day they met and encouraged Hensley to show up for a brief explanation of the sport. Hensley has been committed to Jay Henges trap shooting team since then, and has also gained full support from his family.

“I got my first shotgun when I was 10, a Pennington Youth 20 Gauge Pump, and had shot rifles at farms, along with turkey hunting and fishing,” Hensley said. “Hunting has been a special occasion in the family for awhile, but trap shooting gives me more chances to shoot, which is better.”

It did not take long for Hensley to become passionate about trap shooting. In his first year, Hensley shot a perfect 25, which earned him a badge, a medal and free merchandise from sponsors. What took Raber three years to achieve, Hensley took only one.

Jan Morris, program coordinator at Jay Henges shooting range said most trap shooters hit their top form after three years of shooting, but due to Hensley’s commitment and love for the game, he has reached that point in only a year.  Hensley has learned an incredible amount in his short time as a trap shooter but is always willing and ready to shoot for more.

“I can control my heart rate, stand completely still, have soft focus and just stare into blank space,” Hensley said. “It’s getting easier and easier just to sense that orange speck and pull that trigger.”

Still, it is astonishing to his friends that Hensley takes 90mg of Concerta per day to counter his struggle with Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) and can still thrive in a sport that requires incredible concentration and hand-eye coordination.

“I tell people that I trap shoot, and they don’t believe me,” Hensley said. “When I’m out there, I stand still to the point that you won’t know if I am a statue or not.”

Although most of his time is spent at KHS, Hensley is not scared to admit his true friends are the ones he shoots, fishes and hunts with. Raber refers to her fellow shooters as a “big family” and emphasizes that when a new shooter comes around, they are quick to be embraced as a new family member.

“It’s just a different comfort level when I’m out there with those guys,” Hensley said. “I love those guys.”

In his second year as a trap shooter, Hensley has made a goal to shoot somewhere every Saturday from Jan. 22 until Aug. 31 and has been invited to go on multiple quail and goose hunts in February.

“The adrenaline you get is overwhelming,” Hensley said. “You’ll never have any feeling like you will when you’re standing at that line. You can’t say you don’t like it until you try it.”

mtoigo@thekirkwoodcall.com

The club was started by Kelsey Streiff, senior, when she returned from Kenya after volunteering in  orphnages over the summer. To her, it is not only about raising the money.

“It’s more just the helping part,” Streiff said.

Other members of the Small Change Club are passionate about being involved and are anxious to continue working with the club to help those who are not as privileged.

“I really wanted to help out the children who are in need,” Graham Lumley, sophomore, said.

Others took advantage of the new club to achieve something they have always wanted to.

“Since I was little I have always wanted to do volunteer work in Africa,” Alyssa Cockerline, junior, said. “When I saw the fliers for the club I thought the club would be a great opportunity to do what I could to help others in Africa from home.”

Elisa Steele, sophomore, originally joined because it was a convenient way to help others along with her friends, but she has since gotten more involved in raising money for the charitable club.

“I probably collected around $20,” Steele said. “It’s great we found these organizations to donate to.”

All together, members of the club collected $350 from the baby bottle fundrasier and another $120 from selling candy canes before winter break.  The money is donated to an organization that travels and distributes money based on the specific needs of that community.

“I think the club is amazing and supports very needy causes. I am very proud to be a part of it,” Cockerline said.

The 21-member club is very interested in  helping not only their own community, but helping communities of people thousands of miles away, as well.

“More people joining the club would make it better,” Steele said.

Cockerline agrees that getting more people involvedin the club would help it better benefit others.

“The club would be more successful if people were more aware of what we are doing. Small Change Club is a really great cause,” Cockerline said.

HARAMBEE INTERNATIONAL

Harambee Africa International’s goal is to promote education in Africa, including spreading knowledge of African culture to many other parts of the world.

They have completed a total of 33 different projects and currently have 15 set up in different countries in sub-Saharan Africa, including Angola, Burkina Faso, Cameroon, the Ivory Coast, Guinea Bissau, Kenya, Madagascar, Mozambique, Nigeria, Democratic Republic of the Congo, Rwanda, Sierra Leone, South Africa, Sudan and Uganda. These countries have received a total of $1,847,856 in donations.

In Swahili, the word “harambee” means “all for one,” a word that is said when everyone works together for a common goal, such as building a school, church or helping a family in need.

Contributions to Harambee are collected through Small Change Club fundraisers and additional donations can be made online. More information about ongoing projects and how to donate through checks or bank transfers can be found at harambee-africa.org.

The Kirkwood Pioneers defeated the Camdenton Lakers Nov. 13 19-14 to advance to the state football semifinals.

Camdenton started the game with a touchdown, but Kirkwood quickly turned around and scored to tie the game at 7-7. The score remained tied until halftime.

The Lakers scored soon after the first half began, giving Camdenton a 14-7 lead. However, early in the fourth quarter, Kirkwood scored, but Camdenton blocked the extra point to make the game 14-13. Then, with eight minutes remaining in the game, B.J. Buckner, junior quarterback, threw a 16-yard touchdown pass to give Kirkwood a 19-14 lead (the two-point conversion failed).

Near the end of the game, Camdenton was inside the 10-yard line threatening to score. However, Jordan Bishop, sophomore, came up with a clutch interception to ensure the victory for the Pioneers.

The victory sends Kirkwood to the state semifinals for the first time since 2006, when Kirkwood lost in the state championship game. The Pioneers will take on the Webster Groves Statesmen Nov. 19 at Kirkwood at 7 p.m. Webster comes in with a record of 12-0, and Kirkwood comes in with a record of 9-3. Webster has an overall winning streak of 26 consecutive games.

Coming back to KHS was a gigantic, scary step back into my life. It was terrifying for me.  Every day, I was sure people would wonder and whisper at how “fat” I’d become. Not only was I afraid of being shunned, I was afraid I’d start comparing myself to all the beautiful, thin people around me and begin longing again to get back into the race to be thin.  Nearly two months into the school year, I’m still anxious, but I’m no longer terrified.  A few of the things I feared have come to pass:  Some people have been critical of my frequent absences. Others have commented on my appearance or my anxiety, and there have been many moments when I’ve desperately wanted to start losing weight again so I could be as beautiful as I believe all my peers to be.

It’s been a battle, but I’m hanging in there, and I’m doing so in large part because this is a safe place, filled with good people who are more concerned with caring for each other than they are with tearing each other down.  My heart aches when I see someone struggling to figure out the right thing to do. Should I say something about where she’s been or what she’s been through, ask if she’s okay, offer her something to eat?  Is it okay for me to eat in front of her or complain about my body or talk about fitting into that dress I want for Friendship?  I really wish I had an answer. I try to put people at ease by making a joke or acknowledging their struggle, but the truth is, that just by caring to do the right thing, you’ve already done it.

I also want to do the right thing.  I want to start by thanking everyone at KHS who has been so supportive of my recovery. We’re all better off when we support one another.  I also would also like to raise awareness of eating disorders so that others might be spared what I have been through.  Eating disorders are difficult to recognize because they often start off in a perfectly harmless way: Everyone in America seems determined to lose a few pounds, and we’re all rewarded for doing it. Unfortunately, for some people, the compliments and cultural reinforcement can contribute to a feeling of euphoria and a sense of control that can be as addictive as drugs or alcohol. According to a recent study, nearly 5-7 percent of women in the U.S. will suffer from an eating disorder. When anything we use to help us deal with our problems then becomes the problem, it’s time to get help.  Eating disorders are too complex to define here, but if you are concerned that you or someone you love may have developed an eating disorder, visit www.nationaleatingdisorders.org and get help.  None of us can do it alone.

Sam Yarborough’s pass to Carl Fulton in the fourth quarter of the JV Kirkwood vs. Webster football game was a routine pass and catch play that went wrong.

“I caught the pass and a guy hit me in the end zone. When I landed, I blacked out for a second, and when I got up my vision was way off,” Fulton said.  “Later in the game, I heard my name called to go in, so I lined up on the sidelines thinking I was on the field.”

Fulton’s loss of consciousness, blurred vision and confusion was the result of a concussion he had received from the hit.

Concussions have plagued sports for decades and the 2010 KHS fall athletic programs have been victim to an increasing number of them this fall season according to the former athletic trainer Llyod Knudsen.

“There have already been 12 concussions this year, and eight of them have been from the football program,” Knudsen said.

Athletic program officials are taking steps to ensure the continued safety of their student athletes.  Rules regarding the treatment of concussions are enforced in all  sports.  The extent of these rules vary depending on the grade of the concussion.

“If you suffer a concussion playing a sport, we require you to sit out of that sport until you are symptom free for seven days.  Then you have to be cleared by a doctor, physician or certified athletic trainer before returning,” Knudsen said.

The symptoms of a concussion include loss of consciousness, nausea, headache, dizziness, blurred vision, loss of short term memory, vomiting and ringing of the ears.

“If you get a second concussion after returning you are required to sit out for 14 days, and depending on the grade of concussion, you might have to be seen by a physician,” Knudsen said.  “Then if you are cleared by your doctor, physician or certified athletic trainer after 14 days and get a third concussion, you will have to sit out an extended period of time and be seen by a doctor or physician.”

In order to help prevent concussions, the KHS football program recently purchased new XENITH football helmets which were designed with the goal of reducing the risk of concussions.

“The helmets are built with shock absorbers and a shock bonnet,” Knudsen said.  “It’s a pretty advanced helmet with a lot of protection.”

During the fall athletic season, KHS student athletes have received concussions not only in football, but also participating in softball, field hockey and cheerleading.

“My flyer, Lexi, was coming down in a full down and elbowed me to the ground,” Diamond Boyd, varsity cheerleader, said.  ”My vision was blurred and everything was foggy.”

Boyd received a concussion from the impact to the head and was treated.

KHS officials are looking into newer ways to treat and prevent concussions.

“We are looking into impact testing the athletes at KHS next year.  This way we will have a base line of all the athletes and when someone gets a concussion we will be able treat them better,” Knudsen said.

KHS will not be able to stop the concussion epidemic, but is taking steps to reduce the number of concussions students have and treat them as effectively as possible.