Kevin: I’m staring at the I-C-H-S statue and I have a question for the people who gave us grants: didn’t you spell check?

Claire: All I can really say is that with its close proximity to the field hockey field it might get hit during a really intense game. Maybe knock it down.

Kevin: That’d be a pretty powerful ball.

Aubrey: My only problem with it is that if you’re going to build it in a prime look-out spot you’re unfairly tempting us to climb it.

Kevin: That’s what I was going to say!

Aubrey: I want to climb that thing. And, if I’m going to get yelled at for being reckless on top of a statue that’s not even my school’s name, that’s not fair.

Kevin: I agree. And I think we should put mulch under it so if you fall it’s like a nice soft surface to fall on. Or, or a trampoline. A waiver would need to be signed, but this could work.

Claire: A shrine. To me. Bam. We got it.

Jimmy: There already is Claire, it is called Kevin Bedford’s heart.

Claire: ….Right.

Jimmy: Perhaps a rope coming down to it from the Keating building for a zip line. I’m just spitballin’.

Kevin: Surf board.

Jimmy: Umbrella from the rain and sun, perhaps?

Aubrey: Ramrod for doors, more specifically, the ones that are locked in the guidance hallway.

Kevin: A really overbearing paperweight.

Maddy: Are these supposed to be useless objects?

Kevin: Hey. Rude.

Jimmy: We could support the ideas of reusing and recycling. So, in the name of eco-friendliness we’ll melt down the metal for other uses. Maybe a KHS sign?

Maddy: Perhaps as a chair. You could park yourself right where the ‘C’ curves in and you have to hang on a little, but it could work. Beggars can’t be choosers so, deal with it.

Claire: When finals week gets to be a little too stressful people can bring their baseball bats and take stress out on it. Make it into an even more modern art piece. Very relaxing.

Aubrey: Actually, I really want it to be one of those things that are lucky at a school and you rub it to help you on tests. So, you just go up and rub it in one place ‘til the paint wears away just awkwardly in one spot.

Kevin: Sprinkler on top. Fountain. There you go.

Jimmy: Or, or we could put a rotating wheel under the base so we can make it a swing ride, a spinning swing ride.

Aubrey:  What?

Jimmy: You have the swings branching off.

Maddy: Like a maypole?

Aubrey: So we dance around it, now?

Claire: We should do it in a cult-like manner. That might be fun.

Kevin: Maybe we could have used that grant to get better construction workers on the football field.

Collectively: Oooooooh.

Jimmy: Here’s an idea, just take it down.

Kevin: No. Cheese grater.

Editors’ Note: According to the Kirkwood High School website, Pioneer Circle is privately funded. Donors include Evelyn Terall, who donated in memory of her son, the KHS Classes of 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1988, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009 and 2010, the KHS Mothers Club and the KHS PTO. Brother Mel Meyer, the local artist who created the sculpture, was paid for his work.