February is a hard month. The cloudy, gray skies hang heavy, and the 28 short days (29 this year) seem to weld together. The only break in this month’s
monotony comes two weeks in, on the day set aside for love, happiness and other disgusting emotions of a similar na- ture: Valentine’s Day. But for the lonely hearts of the world, February never ends.

It goes without saying, but I’m single. No worries; I love it. For me, Valentine’s Day is just another dreadful winter day, free of romance and roses. However, as one of America’s 99.6 million single individuals*, Valentine’s Day brings prejudice, excluding all those without a relationship from the warm and fuzzy feelings that result from a box of choco- lates. So, I’m calling to the Holiday Coun- cil of America, or whoever is in charge of creating new holidays, to create a holiday for single people everywhere.

This holiday, which I have dubbed Lonely Heart’s Day, will occur the first day of February every year, and will be cele- brated by lonely – I mean, single – people, as they embrace their solidarity. Of course, all schools will get the day off, and florists, chocolatiers, jewelry stores and Hallmark card shops will be closed to recognize the triumphs of single people throughout history and in the modern era. Though the holiday will be celebrated by men and women alike, the different sexes must pass Lone- ly Heart’s Day with separate traditions in accordance to each gender’s specific needs:

For women
Ladies, grab the closest tub of chocolate ice cream you can find, throw on your most unattractive and baggy sweatpants and pop in a Drew Barrymore movie. Time to pamper yourself, knowing you have no one to impress. Paint your nails, slap some cucumbers over your eyes, run a hot bubble bath and soak up your single- hood. You don’t need a man, nor do you want one. It’s all about you, girlfriend.

For men
Gentlemen, snatch the first bag of chips in the pantry, keep on your stained t-shirt and plaid pajama pants and settle in for a long day of Call of Duty. With no girls around, there’s no need to hold any odors back. Embrace your masculinity, revel in your filth and whatever you do, don’t shave the five o’clock shadow sprouting on your chin. It’s all about you, boyfriend…which I mean in a to- tally platonic way.

We are the single, the proud, the 99.6 million Lonely Hearts of America. Even with Valentine’s Day around the corner, we aren’t look- ing for Mr./Ms. Right, but if you find him/her, don’t be afraid to hand out our phone numbers.

*Numbers courtesy of the 2010 U.S. Census Data

There are several successful people throughout history who were not exactly physically fit: Oprah Winfrey, William Howard Taft, Buddha, Grover Cleveland, Tony Soprano. These people would have trouble passing P.E., but they have been more successful and influential than Paul “Pauly D” DelVecchio or Vincent “Vinny” Guadagnino from Jersey Shore. For many, there seems to be no correlation between success in the gym and success in life.

From kindergarten, Kirkwood School District students are subjected to daily P.E. classes up until the eighth grade. Imagine how many push ups or pull ups a student does in nine years. It takes doing something 21 times to form a habit, according to a Florida International University study, so if the importance of exercise has not stuck with that student yet, mandatory KHS gym will not change that.

Look at a successful sporting nation, like Australia, whose obesity rate is 29 percent of the United States’, and notice P.E. is not a part of Australia’s curriculum. Australia realizes athletics, like any other specialized subject, are best taught to those with interest. Forcing everyone to participate punishes the less strong athletes, while not allowing the stronger ones to reach their full potential.

Although imposing mandatory P.E. classes are intended to better national health, it holds students back. There is no material in high school P.E. that is not covered in middle school P.E., and students could be taking classes like language or music instead. KHS needs to ditch the dodge ball, cut the crunches and make gym strictly an elective.

No, that was not a typo. Imposing uniforms not only makes sense, but would make life easier. Many students pick their outfits the night before school, but imagine not having to do any pre-planning. Mornings would be much smoother. There would be no hurry to quickly pick out a top and pair of pants that may or may not end up matching, leaving plenty of time for the breakfast most of us hardly ever eat.

Principal Dr. Mike Havener and the rest of the administration have discussed bringing blazers and plaid skirts to KHS, based on Vashon High School’s decision to switch to uniforms (Vashon is another St. Louis public school). Unfortunately, the conversations were very informal and not at the district level. Havener believes uniforms are unnecessary and the current dress code is not an issue, saying the district’s dress code “respects the rights of the students as individuals.”

However, it’s not a question of respect, it’s a question of practicality. Dress code violations occur on a daily basis (leggings, anyone?). If the administration were to bring uniforms into the school system there would be no struggles of making sure pants are not too low or shorts are not too tight.

We all do it, so don’t deny it-walking down the hallway after class everyday and judging a peer based on what they are wearing. The judgments can be positive too, I’ll admit that, but I would bet my Prada perfume the negative still outweigh the good. Bullying and snide remarks at times occur due to not owning the most popular brands or dressing uniquely. Uniforms would eliminate this sort of bullying and put students on a more equal level.

Although the thought of showing up in the same outfit as someone else makes me cringe, uniforms would be the only exception to such a horror. And that’s fashion-forward.

Well-rested and assured their work will still get done, these students walk into their homeroom the next day only to find they will not be able to finish it at all due to another administration-scheduled event.

Academic homeroom, ideally a period intended to visit teachers and do schoolwork, is seen as a saving grace for students. For students involved in sports, music, honors and AP classes or other activities outside of school, homeroom can make a significant difference in their workload. With the constant pressure to succeed, Homeroom gives students just what they need: quiet, independent time to think and be productive.

Instead of being a useful time for studying, however, academic homeroom has become a chaotic and confusing period used for administrative convenience.

According to Dr. Mike Havener, principal, homeroom was created in 2002 to take less class time away from both teachers and students. The initial reason homeroom came to be was to help students with schoolwork and give them time to visit teachers. The second, however, was the intention to also use this time for assemblies.

The administration’s heart may be in the right place by not wanting to take time away from the classroom, but the time designed to help students academically has been turned into nothing more than an administrative period. In the second semester alone, 60 percent of independent homeroom time is expected to be taken up with administrative events. With “must-hear” announcements, surprise assemblies, scheduled meetings and club pictures, students struggle to get anything productive done.

With most classrooms holding 20 students or more, homeroom provides them with the one-on-one time with teachers that may be difficult to find. Homeroom is a unique time for students to ask questions in private and get help when they would not be able to    otherwise.

Granted, certain assemblies or other scheduled events are necessary, and homeroom may be the most convenient time for those to be scheduled. However, while the staff receives a homeroom event calendar through e-mail at the beginning of each semester from Cathy McGrath, assistant principal and head of homeroom events, the students do not. Teachers are supposed to relay McGrath’s messages, but rarely do. If students were informed as often as the teachers were of what to expect, the wariness of lost time may be met with more cooperation.

Since there are so many required assemblies for students, the administrators should consider a more efficient idea, such as setting aside one day each month to use the last hour of school specifically for announcements and assemblies. A negotiable plan would even be to sacrifice one Wednesday every month for the purposes of the administrators in order to use the other three in the month for the benefit of the students.

Imagine a world where an assembly during homeroom was an exception instead of a rule. With the flexibility of both students and staff, this dream is not far from reality.

The uncomfortable student witness

Oh, dear. Suzy Sweetheart and Cody Cuddlebuns are at it again. Listen, I’ve grown up with this generation. My hormones are raging, too.

However, this couple is taking it much too far. It’s one thing for them to display their affection for each other. But it’s something entirely different for this couple to hug so tightly that you can’t tell which arms belong to which lovebird.

Not to mention, this couple is kissing like they’re starring in P.S., I Love You. Can’t they move the macking from the publicity of the hallway to the privacy of the couch? Innocent onlookers like me can only stare in disgust, unable to wrench our eyes from the scene. We get it: you two love each other sooo much, and just can’t get enough of each other. We just don’t need to see that displayed everywhere from the Science Building to the Senior Hallway.

Tone it down a bit, and bystanders will be fine. Cheek kisses, hand-holding and brief hugs are plenty acceptable. As long as couples out there keep it toned down, hallway dwellers will feel less awkward and still be aware of your relationship.

The disapproving teacher

Why do Suzy Sweetheart and Cody Cuddlebuns always have to stake out by my classroom? I’ve never taught either of them, but if one of them ends up in my class, I’ll stamp that behavior right out of them.

I can’t even imagine the consequences for a couple acting like that when I was in high school. The teacher would’ve at least given them each a hearty slap on the wrist with a yardstick.

Back in my day,  kids were so much more private. Kids these days just smooch and smooch without even caring to look around to see who’s watching. Also, they’re wearing what I would’ve worn as undergarments at their age (don’t even get me started on the way these students are all dressing), making matters much worse.

Why can’t these snuggly students take their affection to another hallway? They always seem to pick the exact moment I walk out of my classroom to start neckin’. I’ve been tempted to put my arms around the couple and whisper, “Now would you do this in front of your parents? I didn’t think so.”

The affectionate lovebirds
We are deeply in love with each other. Nothing will ever change that. So what’s wrong with displaying a little affection? Sure, we could keep it within certain limits. But holding hands is just so boring now. We’re better than that, and we just love each other so much. We can’t contain ourselves.

It doesn’t matter that everyone can see. Sure, they do it in private, but of course they’ve kissed someone. They know how it feels. There’s no reason for us to wait until we’re home to tightly wrap our arms around each other. Our love can’t wait.

Okay, so teachers may scorn us. But they were kids once, too, right? They also know the feeling of being young and totally in love like us. Besides, all we’re doing is kissing, and that is completely G-rated. High school students can handle much more than G-rated actions, so sweetly kissing in the hallway is perfectly acceptable.

We can’t help but display our affection publically. Remember, we’re in love.

This term has annoyed me since I developed a true understanding of it. The belief that I act white or want to be white is an incorrect classification. The reason students call black people like myself Oreos is because they don’t know what to think of us. In their eyes, we are different. We break the stereotype and go against their perception of a black person. I don’t have any tricks up my sleeve and I’m not trying to create an illusion. Is it the way I act? Is it the way I speak that drives you to tell me that I am white? Is it my intelligence? The way I think? Is it my unusual personality? Please tell me. I want to know.

Ever since middle school, students of both races called me “Oreo.” Back then it used to hurt when friends or classmates told me who I was when they were completely wrong. Other black students shared their hatred for the word as well. When both races categorize me as an Oreo, it feels as if no one accepts me for who I am. I feel I’m a minority within a minority.

Now, if I’m an Oreo, then I guess other intelligent, well-spoken and goal-oriented African-Americans can be classified as Oreos as well. President Barack Obama, billionaire and television mogul Oprah Winfrey, former Secretaries of State Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice, literary leaders Maya Angelou and Toni Morrison, and television and movie giants Sidney Pioiter and Bill Cosby. The list goes on and on, and I don’t consider these individuals Oreos.

I am what you see. I am a black individ- ual. I am the same as you. There should be no confusion on what to classify me. It’s the way I am. Skin tone should not matter, only someone’s personality and character.

So let’s think about using the term Oreo for its real purpose, a delicious cookie that satisfies the sweet tooth of many people around the world, not the meaning society has bestowed on it.

You are sitting in English class listening to the teacher drone about the latest in-class project part of the upcoming final. The class rushes to the library computers, wanting to get the project over with as soon as possible before the day-before-it’s-due panic attack occurs. So when you get on the Internet to search a picture of a star and half the images are blocked, you don’t want to call the teacher over. No academic rejection hurts worse than access denied.
Although the Internet is a sea of information with new data pouring in every minute, the school’s filtering system is not going to help anyone. Students have to do research on those computers daily, and when pictures of trees on Google Images get censored, learning something new is more difficult to accomplish. Plus, no student wants to have to call his/her teacher over several times to unblock Youtube for the required multi-media portion of the project.

According to Michael Gavin, junior principal, Light Speed, the KHS filtering system, is based off of a federal law called the Children’s Internet Protection Act (CIPA). According to the Federal Communications Commission (FCC), schools that receive funding for the Internet must take measures to keep offensive content off of their computers. While this is reasonable, there are flaws in the law. Anything on the Internet can be offensive, even topics discussed in classrooms. For example, when a science teacher was trying to look up ‘climax community,’ an innocent biology term relating to an area that has been deforested, ‘climax’ was a blocked word. Not even typing in a password and user name manually could get the information.

Nowadays, a little electronic device called a cell phone exists, and most students own this handy piece of technology. If a student was feeling rebellious and was planning on searching something inappropriate they would not be ignorant enough to do it on one of the district’s computers. As logical as a filtering system may seem to the federal government, Light Speed does not keep students from doing what they want.

Not to mention, students are young adults. Yes, some people do not know what maturity really means, but this is high school, not middle or elementary school. In college and the working world, it will be up to the students to focus and not let themselves get distracted by silly blogs and gaming websites. Filtering this much on computers is not going to teach anyone to restrain themselves from tempting situations.
While high school is a jungle of rejection, being rejected by something so important and vital to everyday learning is not easy to accept. The system should definitely still exist, but the administration should re-filter and unblock harmless words and websites.