Verbatim

Verbatim is The Kirkwood Call‘s official collection of quotes from the many witty, wacky and just plain weird people who come through Kirkwood High School. Click here to read Verbatim from the 2010-2011 school year or here to submit your own.

You will dissect a sheep brain. Not yet though…I like to wait until they’re on sale. — Carrie Medelman, psychology teacher, while going over the schedule for her psychology class.

You may be glue-sniffing video game players with a potty mouth in other parts of life. I’m okay with that. Just not here. — Jason Retkittke, band director, on how students should behave during home football games.

Jump out of my closet looking like Burger King and I will scream. And probably pee myself. — Tim Harig, history teacher, discussing the similar appearance of a Muslim ruler and the Burger King

Your word is missing a shirt. — Paul Hazan, junior, on the Yearbook staff shirts, which intentionally leave a word out.

I’m tacky every day. — Kathleen Frese, math teacher, referring to her naturally orange hair when asked why she wasn’t dressed up for Tacky Day.

Ah! My butt exploded! — Leah Gamble, senior, during an intense game of Tiny Wings.

They must be a transfer student. — Austin Steimel, sophmore, After seeing a license plate from Kansas in the Dougherty Ferry parking lot.

The silent ones are dangerous. I bet Hitler didnt talk much in class. — Brynn Davis, junior, Regarding another student’s silence in class.

I have a Furby. His name is Cocoa. — O’Shean Sanders, junior, going off-topic in class.

When’s your bedtime? — Arjun Patel, senior, on English teacher Amy Barker’s sleep deprivation.

If you want to find out the length and width of this rectangle, stay in this class. If you want to find out if this rectangle is sexy or not, switch to discrete. — Carolyn Fogarty, math teacher, while talking to her students about solving quadratic equation word problems.

That’s what you get for naming your school after a nut. — Austin Steimel, sophomore, discussing Kirkwood’s defeat of Hazelwood East in the state semi-finals.

I have high heels and rope. — Jason Rekittke, band director, when asked what was in his backpack.

Don’t you have dark corners with fat ashtrays? — Tim Robbins, junior, asking about German public smoking policies.

Hippie chicks don’t like flashlights. — Tim Harig, history teacher, when telling a story about his hippie girlfriend and how they were almost attacked by a bear.

In case you’re wondering what’s wrong with my lip, you’re right. It’s domestic abuse. — Nancy Menchhofer, English teacher, explaining the cut on her lip, which she recieved from her granddaughter.

He’s sexy and he knows it. — Jack Stanley, senior, describing Cassio, a character from Shakespeare’s “Othello”.

That was a thrill! — Valery Wehrman, junior, after completing an assignment in honors precalc.