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Eulogy for a friend
February 9, 2017
He was supposed to make it. The odds were in his favor. All the laws of nature said it was possible. He was supposed to make it.
But he didn’t.
You can’t change the rules. They’re set. Once somebody is gone, they’re gone. Death isn’t a choice; it’s a command, and he was just following orders. Now, as he sits right in front of me, I can only think.
John is dead.
I still see him. It’s hard to restrain myself from trying to bring him back, but I know it’s impossible. You can’t bring the dead back to life. But still.
I could have saved him.
I hated him at first. Will was supposed to get all the attention, not John. He had been there from the beginning but it wasn’t until now I realized that I was the one who neglected him. Now it’s too late.
He was murdered.
I try to tell myself it wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t me who crushed him; I only stood there. Everyone tells me there was nothing I could have done, but I don’t believe it; I only stood there.
It was just a game.
It’s more than a game now. The Nuzlocke was what brought us together, and it is the Nuzlocke that keeps us apart. Now I know the true joys and deep pain of this cruel life. Many will fill his empty slot in this meaningless game, but nobody will fill the hole he left in my heart. If only I had switched him out for Doug the Dugtrio or spent less time training Will the Charizard, maybe he would still be here sitting next to me.
Curse you Fire Red.
In memory of John the Butterfree
Killed by a critical hit from a Snorlax bodyslam, Feb. 5, 2017.
*This blog is entirely satirical. Nobody actually died.