The NFL Playoffs broken down by their “The Office” character equivalents

Riley Arns, sports writer

Photo edited by Riley Arns under the Google creative commons license

For those of you who haven’t watched much football this year or don’t really understand the sport in general, I have created a guide that breaks down each remaining playoff team into their The Office character equivalent.

Kanas City Chiefs (Pam Beesly) Vs. Indiana Colts (Darryl Philbin)

The first match-up in the AFC is the Kansas City Chiefs vs. the Indiana Colts, but you’re going to remember it as Pam Beesly vs. Darryl Philbin. Just like Pam, the Chiefs are beautiful, smart and undeniably one of the best teams in the league. The Chiefs had the best offense in the regular season with breakout star quarterback Patrick Mahomes, throwing for over 5,000 yards and 50 touchdowns, breaking tons of records along the way. Unfortunately for the Chiefs, they are more like season one Pam who is still a secretary and still engaged to the wrong man. While the Chiefs had the best offense they also had the second worst defense, allowing over 400 yards per game and 26.3 points a game. The Chiefs may not be good enough to win the Super Bowl this year, but their story is far from over.

The Chiefs have to face the Indiana Colts in the divisional round, a team I can only liken to Darryl. Just like Darryl, everyone knew the Colts had the potential to be a powerhouse but weren’t sure if the team could mesh in time for the playoffs with their quarterback Andrew Luck coming off an injury. In the first round of the playoffs, the Colts crushed the Texans with a score of 21-7 and are starting to look like the season six or seven Darryl we all love.

New England Patriots (Toby Flenderson) Vs. Los Angeles Chargers (Kevin Malone)

The New England Patriots are exactly like Toby Flenderson. While they are consistently good at their job and have won five super bowls in the last 20 years, they are hated by everyone. Nobody likes the Patriots outside a few people and you should not root for them for no other reason besides the fact that they are the Patriots.

I really struggled to come up with an Office equivalent for the Los Angeles Chargers but as a stretch Kevin Malone who is often overlooked but still provides tremendous value to the show. Just like Kevin, the Chargers season has been overshadowed by the Rams, but that doesn’t mean they’re worse. They are just different. The Chargers finished the season with a record of 12-4 which is only one game behind the Rams 13-3, but unlike the Rams, the Chargers were a top ten offense and defensive team. the Chargers have as good a chance as anyone does at winning the Superbowl.

New Orleans Saints (Dwight Schrute) Vs. Philadelphia Eagles (Creed)

The New Orleans Saints closely resemble Dwight Schrute in the sense that both of them get the job done at all costs. Dwight Schrute was the number one paper salesman every season of The Office and has a natural gift for his job just like Saints coach Sean Payton. During the Saints’ last practice Payton brought out the Lombardi Trophy sitting on top of $225k and said, “Y’all want this? Win three games.” No one has as much passion for the game or a greater desire to win than the New Orleans Saints.

The Philadelphia Eagles can only be compared to Creed. Creed was originally only supposed to be a background character, but turned into a fan favorite and a staple of the show just like the Eagles. Yet again their quarterback, Carson Wentz, has gone down with an injury and everyone thought that meant the end of their season, but backup QB Nick Foles is playing better than ever. The Eagles might make another spectacular playoff run like they did last year or they might lose against the Saints. Just like Creed, no one is quite sure what they will do but everyone is excited to see what happens.

Los Angeles Rams (Jim Halpert) Vs. Dallas Cowboys (Michael Scott)

The Los Angeles Rams are Jim Halpert because they are pretty much all you could ask for in a character/NFL Team. The Rams were the second best offensive team averaging 421.1 yards per game to the Chiefs 425.6 Yds/Pg, but unlike the chiefs their defense was respectable, sitting at 19th in the league. The Rams look unstoppable and their only true competition will be the will be the Dwight Schrute of the NFL, The New Orleans Saints.

The Dallas Cowboys are easily the Michael Scott of the NFL. Neither of them really know what they’re doing and were just in the right place at the right time. The Cowboys are ecstatic that they won a playoff game are going to ride that win until Saturday when Jim Halpert *cough* *cough* I mean the Los Angeles Rams destroy them.