The Kirkwood Call

iSpy: Stalking made easy

Freedom – isn’t that what every teen wants? In our current technologically-advanced society, it’s simple, especially with Life360! 

Maddie Meyers, editor-in-chief

October 4, 2019

Freedom – isn’t that what every teen wants? In our current technologically-advanced society, it’s simple, especially with Life360!  Life360 is an app which allows parents to track their kids 24/7 and receive notifications whenever their kid arrives somewhere or if their phone is dying. It even repo...

Driving is bliss

This guy perfectly exemplifies the modern driver: safe, attentive and content.

Brendan Davidson, parsnip editor

March 17, 2019

*This piece is entirely satirical Driving is supposedly a chore. I think driving is joyous. And it’s only getting better. More people are on the road, phones provide entertainment while we drive and cops enforce speed limits less because they finally understand they’re just suggestions. Driving ...

The evolution of the meme

Memes reach millions each day making peoples days brighter by the laughter they bring.

Jack Matousek, features writer

February 11, 2019

As I touched the cool screen of an iPad, feeling it for the first time, excitement coursed through my body as I had the power of the world at my fingertips. Look at all the power the Kirkwood Sschool District let me think I have. With my newfound potential came Safari, and with Safari came the search...

Blocked websites

Erin Bugee

Quentin Stepp, copy editor

February 13, 2018

*This piece is entirely satirical Ever since we first got the iPads back in the glory days of middle school, the semi-permeable membrane that is the Kirkwood firewall has protected us from harmful websites that may hinder our learning or expose our young minds to heinous things such as pornography, the...

The name game

Celia Bergman

Izzy Colón, copy editor

November 16, 2017

*This piece is entirely satirical Brian is at the golf course. As he gets an afternoon to golf with the guys, a constant rush of names flows through his head; his wife is expecting a baby in a few months. The naming process is in full effect and in mid-swing of his golf club, it dawns on him. He wants...

Not the final test

Not the final test

Jack Rintoul, opinions writer

December 16, 2016

*This is a piece of satire* With finals season upon us, I thought it would be a perfect time to reflect on the greatest resume builder for students: test taking. Every year about this time students are overjoyed to begin two weeks of constant reviewing and examination. Although winter break is less...

Hillary Clinton

Hillary Clinton

Will Drury, copy editor

November 9, 2016

*This blog is entirely satirical Hello everybody! What’s the haps’ tonight? Is everyone here doing okie dokie? Alrighty then! I would first like to thank TKC for the gracious opportunity to speak with you. It was a nice offer, it was a kind gesture, and I am very happy. I had a speech prepared...

Donald Trump

Donald Trump

Will Drury, copy editor

November 9, 2016

*This piece is entirely satirical China. Mexico. ISIS. These three countries are beating us, and we’re losing. Crooked Hillary over here may try to tell you America’s all good, but it’s not. Believe me, it’s bad. It’s a yuuuge problem. And if we want to make it better, then we need to mak...

OCD nightmare part 2

OCD nightmare part 2

Will Drury, copy editor

September 28, 2016

*This blog is entirely satirical We1come to he11 part two. 0h, I’m sorry, does it bother you that I’m using the number 1 instead of the 1etter “L”? 0r that the 1etter “O” at the beginning of these 1ast two sentences are really 0’s? We11 too bad. If you think that’s annoying, you mi...

Why I’m not voting this year

Why I'm not voting this year

Holden Foreman, web editor

September 15, 2016

*This blog is entirely satirical   KHS students aged 18 and older (by election day) registered to vote during homeroom last Thursday, Sep. 8, as the November election season looms around the corner. Voting, they say, is like selecting the shiniest of two turds. But this year, it feels lik...

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