Sleep: a waste of time

Brendan Davidson, sports writer

As the school year draws to close, students are more stressed than ever with finals, AP tests and homework. We have minimal time to relearn much of the year’s content for each class. Loads of work exhaust students and ensure we suffer late into the night. Getting a healthy amount of sleep is more difficult than starting homework before dinnertime. Instead of worthless attempts to go to sleep early, my solution to fixing my sleep schedule is to not.

Only a small minority of teens, a.k.a losers, have a “healthy” sleep schedule. According to the National Sleep Foundation, 87 percent of teenagers don’t get the necessary eight hours of sleep every night they need. That’s 87 percent of teens who understand that plenty of sleep is for fools and that the nighttime is long, perfect for whatever you slacked on during the day. Also, 98 percent of teens say they routinely put other activities before sleep, according to Clearly, even most losers miss sleep often.

Sleepers are just wasting a third or more of their lives with an unnecessary routine that only helps keep mental health and cognitive function in check. Experts act as if teen mental stability is contingent on getting a consistent eight of hours of sleep. But attempting to sleep-shame teens won’t bring our mental stability back after school destroyed that long ago.   

Some suckers work too hard late at night. Others, like myself, don’t even bother to get their homework out of their backpack but instead indulge in far more entertaining activities like scrolling through Instagram, enjoying Netflix or my personal favorite: doing absolutely nothing.

Intentionally passing on sleep builds up a beneficial tolerance to sleep deprivation. If someone consistently averages five hours of sleep a night, then they will find a way to survive. Somehow, since teens manage to feel tired at school no matter how long they sleep, it doesn’t affect someone’s short-term health if they sleep three or 10 hours a night. If you lie to yourself that you’re not tired at all, you’ll feel just fine. Simple as that.

Missing sleep makes life more exciting. Instead of listening in class, simply snooze then and catch up on the notes and homework late at night. Then drag yourself to school the next morning extremely tired, continuing the beautiful cycle. This way of life causes many to be “high” on sleep deprivation, which is truly exhilarating. It’s much of what makes high school great. If you’re not sleeping less than eight hours a night, you should reconsider your habits for your own well-being.