Why high school sucks

Brendan Davidson, parsnip editor

They’re the most miserable years of your life: full of drama, annoying people and too much work that manages to teach you completely useless knowledge before you quickly forget it after the test. That’s right, I’m talking about high school. There are lots of reasons why it sucks. Let me discuss just a few.

First off, the grading system is wack. In English, teachers grade different from each other and honestly, they grade based on how they’re feeling at the moment. I mean, who gets a rubric for an English essay? Nobody. Don’t worry, other classes suck in their own ways too. Teacher inconsistency is atrocious across the board. Every history class is a unique beast and math and science classes could just not be impossible. Students ain’t tryna do tons of work that some teachers *cough* Mr. Becker *cough* assign every night.

The actual class and schoolwork is somewhat important, but the people in school are more significant. Friends are incredibly important to have, but most of the time, they’re fake. High school is a depressing story of drama, hierarchies and unsuccessful relationships. Since nothing positive has ever come from maintaining a close friend group of one to a few people, I’d recommend getting to know everybody. Specifically, make acquaintances with as many people as possible, and don’t get close to others. Even though there has been no drama at Kirkwood for the last year, don’t get involved.

Distractions are your worst enemy after you decide to actually do your homework tonight. After writing this sentence, a notification on my phone destroyed my will to write this paragraph. Eh.

Fine, I’ll be completely serious and write this paragraph (only five hours of browsing later, a new record!) Like I accidentally proved, phones, particularly notifications, are excellent at drawing your attention away from homework or whatever boring task you’re dying to get away from. The solution: just give in. Let that meme browsing consume the rest of your night. The homework you didn’t finish, or even look at, is tomorrow’s problem.

Moral of the story: your high school years are the worst of your life. You should never go to school events or support KHS in any way. College will be a breeze and life will automatically let you be successful because that’s exactly what high school taught me. Actually, I forgot everything I learned first quarter after the long weekend. Whoops.