KHS campus in a nutshell
Lila Shepard, managing editor
Kirkwood High School can be big and confusing to some. Especially, those coming from middle school. The first day of school will be full of freshmen getting lot on their way to class. So, take it from a senior, this is what you need to know about all of the spots on campus.
1. Dougherty Ferry Lot
Disclaimer: if you are not a senior, do not park here unless you want to walk out to a freshly saran-wrapped car. This is the main entrance to the school and the most popular freshman drop-off spot, so look out for all of the coffee-crazed minivan-moms plowing through the parking lot.
2. Science Hallway
Pro: this hall is wide enough for everyone to walk through and it has plants tucked away in random corners. Con: the reception in this hall is especially terrible when you want to tune out your teacher.
3. Math Hallway
To be honest, all you need to know is the Quadratic Formula and the Pythagorean Theorem. No, but for real, this hallway always has freshmen walking on the wrong side. Usually they move out of your way if you flat tire them.
4. Language Building
If Google Translate showed hotspots, you’d definitely see one here. The bathrooms are notorious for many reasons which more times than not, results in them being closed. The building itself is always stuffy and the temperature is either too hot or too cold.
5. English Hallway
This hallway is beyond average. So much so that I really have nothing too monumental to say about it. The best part of the english building is staring outside the big windows at late students quickly strutting down the sidewalk like it is a runway and rating their outfits.
6. The Courtyard
Ten-out-of-ten recommend standing at the doors that enclose this area. You are guaranteed to see a freshman knocking on the glass after deciding that it would be a good shortcut to their next class. You might as well be invisible if you take this route because it is rare that a student will actually let you in, especially if it is raining. You made your choice, now you have to deal with the red knuck...
7. Social Studies Hallway
Absolutely horrible. There is always a trashcan in this hallway trying to catch water from the newest leak in the ceiling. This additional blockage doesn’t aid in getting to class efficiently. I’ve seen a grandma driving on Kirkwood Road going faster than students in this hall during passing period.
8. Senior Hallway
The best hallway, really. One day all of you will finally be cool enough to have your class slogan hung from the ceiling. This hallway is always the best decorated during Spirit Week, especially this year, where the class of ‘23 will come out on top. No questions asked.
9. The Library
It is always poppin’ in the library. There are constantly students pretending to do homework during IP and trying to sneak snacks while the librarians aren’t looking. The books cause chaos for the Karens, worrying that their teenage child may crack open a novel refecencing sex or drugs (like it isn’t just a Google search away). While the list of banned books brought before the KSD Board of Ed...
10. Business Hallway
The business hallway is home to the most chill teachers. The bathroom in this hall is the only one to have a shrine built for it when it was shut down. You can find Pep Nation up there making TikToks and students in their business casual practicing their pitches.
On the first day of school, freshmen will be tempted to continue their middle school days and eat here. LOL. The food is decent, but the absolute highlight is people watching while you are in line for your Bosco Sticks.
12. Walker Commons
A common area, where all common students go. Like the common band couple you can find making out at 8 a.m. by the turtles. Or the common orchestra students loudly practicing their instruments during your study hall. Or lastly, the common hall wanderers, trying to buy as much time as they can out of class hoping not to bump into a walking counselor.
13. Keating Box Office
One of the best parts of high school is going to homecoming and prom, right? A romantic night with your partner dressed to impress. The only problem is that in order to attend you have to buy tickets. When the bell rings for lunch it is an absolute frenzy, a free-for-all, if you will. I suggest you either run for your life away from this area or straight to it to try to get a spot in line. Whatever...
14. Keating Theater
This dark cave of a theater is where you will be forced to listen to your counselors talk about college, scheduling and your academic future. You will also want to attend one of KHS’s Broadway-level plays and see what that “break a leg” talk is really all about.
15. Art Hallway
If you are an art geek, this is your home. If not, then you will most likely dread walking through the double doors to this secluded section where you will be forced to complete your fine art credits. No shade though, the art is amazing and the artists who create it are beyond talented. The best part about the art though, is that it doesn’t stop at the hallways and classrooms; it continues all th...
16. South Journalism
The cool people call this part of the school SJ. It is basically the greatest place ever and it is the lair of all the KHS journalism nerds including Pioneer Yearbook, TKC and KHTV. Honestly, this is where the magic happens and where you can find the world’s most sarcastic teachers, Eden and Owens.
17. Essex Lot
Beware, this is the junior lot, home of the brand new drivers. Here, the parking is atrocious. Make sure you watch your back because not only do you have to dodge juniors flying out of the lot during lunch and after school, but the bus drivers are no joke either. They are on the clock and are not afraid to pancake you like Regina George from Mean Girls....
18. David Holley Gym
The varsity gym. Many will try, but only some will succeed in achieving the peak high school athletic status that it takes to play in this gym. This is the home of pep rallies, assemblies of any sort and your P.E. classes. If you are a freshman, get ready to be booed at the most hype event of the fall; the Turkey Day Pep Rally. Embrace the L you will take, and remember: you’re just the class of 2026...
19. The Trainer’s Office
During the fall you will see approximately half of the KHS football team waiting their turns for Ms. Kelsey to run them an ice bath or tape up their various aching limbs. Are they being a little overdramatic? Yes. But is it entertaining watching athletes limp out of that office in only their high socks, sweaty practice attire and bags of ice wrapped to their bodies? Yes....
20. Denver Miller Gym
This gym is never the right temperature. It is always approximately five degrees hotter than what it should be and the humidity is equivalent to that of the Amazon Rainforest — or Florida, minus the crocodiles.
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