Let’s go all the way tonight. No regrets. Just love.

The party don’t start ‘til I walk in. Pulling up to the party, trying to get a little bit tipsy. There’s a place I know if you’re looking for a show, where they go hardcore and there’s glitter on the floor.

To both Katy Perry and Ke$ha, I offer my thanks. Thank you, ladies, for providing meaningful lyrics that truly reflect upon the hardships and triumphs of life. Thank you for, through brilliant musicality, demonstrating the balance of life between love and hate, between struggle and benefit, between risk and reward. By listening to these two artists (not singers, artists), I have learned more about myself and the world.

Recently, my mother’s friend was complaining to her that the Katy Perry and Ke$ha lyrics her daughter listens to are vulgar. Her daughter is in fourth grade.

I was outraged at this comment. In fourth grade, I was stuck listening to musical junk like “The Remedy,” by Jason Mraz, which is a song about giving his friend, a cancer patient, hope to live. Absolutely meaningless. One could never apply that in the real world. Not only that, but Mraz is a terrible singer, and the music in the background sounds as though someone with Beethoven’s ear for music produced it.

Katy Perry shows what it is like to be a teen and in love. “Let’s go all the way tonight. No regrets. Just love” means she loves her significant other deeply, and they recently went all the way from each other’s houses to a park to meet each other.

Perry has also demonstrated the values of curiosity. Through beautiful lyrics such as, “I kissed a girl, and I liked it,” Perry expresses through a strong metaphor the benefits of entering uncharted territory.

Ke$ha’s lyrics, on the other hand, have displayed the need to prepare for public gatherings. For example, the line in the song “Tik Tok” says, “Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack.” She cleans up before going out in public, and “Jack” is obviously her choice brand of tooth paste.

Now that I’ve exhausted every ounce of sarcasm in me, I would like to throw my actual feelings out there. Katy Perry and Ke$ha have atrocious lyrics, and listening to their music makes me reprogram the receptors in my brain that process music. I feel sorry for all the young ones who have to grow up listening to music about parties, alcohol, drugs and sex. And believe me, they are listening to it. There are videos all over the internet of elementary school students dancing in talent shows to the two pop-stars. Uncensored.

To this day, “The Remedy” remains one of my favorite songs. I can guarantee that the elementary schoolers of today will not remember a single word from “Teenage Dream” or any of that trash.