Bullies used to have class. When I was growing up, I pictured high school bullies as leather-wearing, crooked-toothed country boys who had nothing better to do than put pudding in my hair and manure in my locker (credit to the O’Doyles from Adam Sandler’s ‘90s classic, Billy Madison).

Then, I got to high school, I got a Facebook and I found out how you make someone’s life miserable. “Cyberbullying,” as it is most commonly called, affects over half of teens and adolescents on either the giving or receiving end, according to the i-SAFE foundation, a non-profit foundation that advocates for teen safety on the Internet. I don’t think cyberbullying is the right word to describe what goes on online daily at KHS.

To me, cyberbullying is a term scared parents and local news reporters use to describe the destruction of today’s youth via the internet. But in reality, fighting, gossiping and making fun of others through social media is part of everyday life in high school.

I’m not writing this column for people who have no idea what it means to be tagged in a Facebook photo or what a hashtag is. This is for the people who, whether they realize it or not, are making other people’s lives miserable through social media.

Listen, I get it. I understand that the freshman who hooked up with your ex deserved what was coming to her. But insecurity and pain aren’t always caused by the maniacal 14-year-old plotting against Suzy Pigtails on an anonymous online chat room. It can be caused by the honor roll student who decides to tweet about how slutty the class below her is.

Another genius high school tactic is masking a direct jab at another student with a general negative statement. Example: @notarealstudent32 “Some people just don’t know their place. #backoff.” Clearly this person isn’t angry at everyone in his/her life. It’s directed toward one person, and it always hurts to be on the receiving end.

Constant and dangerous bullying via the Internet is more of an approachable conflict. If a person talks directly about you online, please, go see a counselor. There are plenty of people at our school who will support you. But the subtle things hurt the most, the comments too brief and indirect to be reported to an adult.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if the bullies from my childhood were online. The idea of Regina George from Mean Girls having a Twitter makes me cringe. Then again, she’d probably have more followers than Justin Bieber. How about the O’Doyle brothers from Billy Madison torturing Adam Sandler via Facebook? He wouldn’t make it past second grade. #O’DoyleRules. Then there’s Nelson from The Simpsons. That demoralizing “haha” might not be as effective in print, but Bart wouldn’t be able to escape that 10-year-old yellow jerk on his skateboard. The message would be constantly waiting for him on his computer at home.

We will never be able to stop the presence of bullies in high schools. No matter how many “Bullying Stops Here” signs we put up in the halls, there will be those who continue to try to make others’ lives terrible. What worries me are the people who wouldn’t normally talk bad about someone else if they didn’t have a phone and Internet access. I wish bullies would go back to throwing kids into trashcans. At least they faced their issues in person.

In reconciliation for all of the subtle jabs I’ve made toward teachers and students at KHS, I’ve decided to come clean and apologize for my insensitivity. Here are a few examples:

@JoeWeber41 8/10/11 4:07 p.m- “There’s only a few things I hate more than kids who carry an Arnold Palmer with them wherever you go.”
-I’m sorry, Arnold Palmer kids. All you wanted was to enjoy a delicious combination of lemonade and ice tea. In your defense, the can has a pretty cool design. Keep drinking with pride.

@JoeWeber41 6/28/11 7:15 p.m-“Never gave an administrator such a dirty look as I did when Ms. McGrath suggested Comic Sans text for our senior class t-shirts.”

-Though I hoped my class principal never saw this, I know now the journalism geek in me got the best of me. This is America, we should be able to love any font we want. Cathy McGrath, I never meant to put you down.

@JoeWeber41 9/29/11 8:53 a.m- “The sophomore class are the kings of rocking the “one ear bud in the hallway” look. #hellachill

-Dear Class of 2014, not only did I generalize your entire grade based on my observations of a few people, but there is nothing wrong with enjoying the hits of Lil Wayne in between class periods. Everyone deserves a little musical inspiration during the day.