Top 10 reasons why KHS will beat Webster


Janine Gassel

A realistic representation of the Turkey Day game this year. We asked people what are the reasons Kirkwood will beat Webster.

*This piece is entirely satirical.


10. Imagine not having turf

9. Nine touchdowns scored all year, Deion Brown had seven in one game

8. Congrats, you guys have had one win in three years

7. Everyone knows you can’t spell “Webster Groves” without “Football Poverty”

6. We’ve won eight Turkey Day games in a row, would be 9 without COVID

5. We were five points away from being undefeated in the regular season, Websturd was 296

4. Webster doesn’t have that dog in them

3. Deion Brown

2. 65-0. Part two?

1. Kirkwood is Webster’s daddy