Student newspaper of Kirkwood High School.

The Kirkwood Call

Momblogz: The True Spooks of Halloween

Jack Bugee, Opinions Writer

October 21, 2017


Filed under The Parsnip

As a proud mother of five who has access to the handy internet, I see myself in a position of great power this Halloween season. But as they say, with great power comes great responsibility. I have the responsibility to warn all other moms about those nasty creeps who hide dangerous items in the kid...

Wing Crosby’s eulogy

Wing Crosby’s eulogy

Ally Ortmann, features writer

October 13, 2017


Filed under The Parsnip

*This piece is entirely satirical, well besides the tragic death of Wing Crosby It seems we know the feeling of grief all too well at KHS. Yet again we have lost one of our own in the wake of the tragic and mysterious passing of our fellow classmate, Wing Crosby. Crosby was presumed dead after being ...

I’ve pad it

I’ve pad it

Fitz Cain, features writer

October 3, 2017


Filed under The Parsnip, Top Stories

Dear KHS Administration,   It has come to my attention that there has been discussion of removing the most valuable and useful tool we have here at KHS: our iPad Minis. I am not only offended but downright disgusted that you would sabotage my learning experience like this. Shame on you. ...

Cereal first!

Brendan Davidson, sports writer

October 3, 2017


Filed under Entertainment, The Parsnip

...

Milk first!

Milk first!

Will Drury, parsnip editor

October 3, 2017


Filed under Entertainment, The Parsnip, The Parsnip

...

Never too cool for school

Never too cool for school

Allie Hickenbotham, copy editor

August 31, 2017


Filed under Opinions, The Parsnip

I’m getting antsy even as I write this because of how excited I am to be back at school. The majority of students dread going back, but not me. I mean, what’s so awful about waking up to see the sun rise then sitting in a soft, comfortable chair for seven hours straight, five days a week? Sounds...

High school for dummies

High school for dummies

Will Drury, parsnip editor

August 29, 2017


Filed under Entertainment, The Parsnip

High school can be hard, especially for incoming freshmen fresh out of the chains of middle school. Still spinning from the traumatic experiences in junior high (mostly from Nipher), students are again thrown into a cesspool of teenage drama, confusing buildings and impossible freshman classes with nobody to...

The deadliest hermit

The deadliest hermit

Will Drury, copy editor

May 17, 2017


Filed under Entertainment, The Parsnip

As the “Doors” say, people are strange. One minute they’re living peacefully in a log cabin in the middle of the Alaskan tundra, the next they’re sitting in prison for murdering an entire orphanage with a shard of broken glass. Nobody expected this from Tod Brigham, but then again, peopl...

Thank you letter for an ACT of kindness

Thank you letter for an ACT of kindness

Allie Hickenbotham, copy editor

April 28, 2017


Filed under Blogs, Opinions, The Parsnip, Top Stories

Emma Bjorkman This piece is entirely satirical*   Dear Everett Lindquist, I would like to say thank you. Thank you for inventing the exhilarating, memorable test known as the American College Testing Program (ACT). Thank you so much for this wonderful, joyous occasion we students have the privilege of enduring. I must say, the ACT is probably th...

The last pencil

The last pencil

Will Drury, copy editor

April 5, 2017


Filed under Blogs, Entertainment, The Parsnip

He started the year with a whopping 365 pencils, one for each day of the year, but now, as senior Moe Ron enters the final quarter, he is down to his last stub. Desperate not to become the annoying kid who always borrows pencils and never returns them, Ron is doing everything in his power to maintain a tigh...

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