The Kirkwood Call

Homework sucks. I know it, you know it. It's time for a change.

Homework sucks, and I’m done doing it

Nathan Sweeney, features writer March 22, 2021

*This piece is entirely satirical.   Teachers, let’s cut right to the chase. I don’t like homework. You don’t like grading. So why does homework still exist? I’m no expert on the high...

‘The Simpsons’: Coincidences predictions?

‘The Simpsons’: Coincidences predictions?

Emma Patt, entertainment writer June 11, 2020

You may know that ‘The Simpsons’ is a cult-classic cartoon that has been producing content since 1989, but what you might not know is that the lovable family from Springfield is involved in an extensive,...

With many visits to the gym and rounds of crunches, I’m finally going to achieve an eight-pack. Accomplishing this goal will be simple considering how welcoming and cozy the gym is.

Work it out

Grace Fearheiley, health + wellness editor February 7, 2020

*This piece is entirely satirical This year I worked hard to craft the perfect New Year’s resolution. With many visits to the gym and rounds of crunches, I’m finally going to achieve an eight-pack....

Post-Christmas winter is boring, dreary and stressful. Here's a guide to get you through it.

Winter Survival Guide

Megan Glasgow, features writer January 19, 2020

*This story is entirely satirical. Now that the excitement of the winter holidays is wearing off, the harshest months of the year have finally arrived. January: the month of sickness, stress and slipping...

How to actually find your soulmate

How to actually find your soulmate

Maisie Bradley, PR Editor April 25, 2019

*This piece is entirely satirical With the surge of homecoming proposal posters behind us, it’s easy to feel yourself get discouraged of ever finding true love, especially since we all know how perfect...

Art by Maggie Burton

You’ve got a (really good) friend in me

Malcia Greene, entertainment editor April 22, 2019

*This piece is entirely satirical. “We need to talk.” Four of the most terrifying words a high schooler can hear. Why? It stems from fear. Fear of confrontation and fear of the unknown. But even...

The leftie struggle

The leftie struggle

Grace Klebe, news editor March 5, 2019

I peaked in middle school

I peaked in middle school

Allie Hickenbotham, copy editor February 28, 2018

art by Celia Bergman *This piece is entirely satirical When people hear the words “middle school” they cringe, gag and maybe even faint. However, I am not one of those people. Those were the best...

Lefties are always right

Lefties are always right

Hannah Cohen, editor-in-chief November 28, 2017

*This piece is entirely satirical There’s truly nothing better than being left-handed. If you’ve never had the ever-thrilling experience of complete left-side dominance then you have no room to...

Why swimming isn't a sport

Why swimming isn’t a sport

Allie Hickenbotham, copy editor November 17, 2017

 *This piece is entirely satirical If I have to hear about how the Walker family donated a pool to KHS one more time, I swear I’m transferring to Webster. I don’t understand why the swim team needed...

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Kirkwood High School student newspaper