Kirkwood High School student newspaper

The Kirkwood Call

Kirkwood High School student newspaper

The Kirkwood Call

Kirkwood High School student newspaper

The Kirkwood Call

By Christmas, seniors may not have even applied to college yet. Some may still be waiting on their acceptance letters, or have been accepted but need to decide which school will get their $100 enrollment fee.

In the holiday hot seat

Lila Shepard, managing editor December 6, 2022

*This piece is entirely satirical When the bell rings at the end of the day and school lets out for winter break, dreams of sugarplums, Christmas lights and binge-watching Netflix dance in students’...

Students are going through mobile screen withdrawal. They’re stretching their arms, nearly dislocating their shoulders, attempting to get service.

The better connection

Lila Shepard, managing editor October 5, 2022

*This piece is entirely satirical. Students all around KHS are developing the symptoms — bouncing knees, pale faces, worried expressions and a wandering mind. They are clinging to the windows and...

We all know caffeine is “technically” a drug and most people are probably “addicted” to it, but it’s socially accepted, so how bad could it be?

Cracked on caffeine

Nathan Sweeney, features + in-depth editor March 6, 2022

*This piece is entirely satirical. Nothing has more power over me than caffeine. My name is Nathan, but a Starbucks employee could misspell my name as “Nksjdlqo” and spit in my drink, and I would...

Back to school also means back to awkward group projects.

How to be social in high school

Kailey Shirrell, social media editor August 25, 2021

*This piece is entirely satirical  Dear freshmen, sophomores and juniors: as you are all still mentally freshman (due to COVID-19 complications), I feel it is my duty, like Janis Ian from Mean Girls,...

Homework sucks. I know it, you know it. Its time for a change.

Homework sucks, and I’m done doing it

Nathan Sweeney, features writer March 22, 2021

*This piece is entirely satirical.   Teachers, let’s cut right to the chase. I don’t like homework. You don’t like grading. So why does homework still exist? I’m no expert on the high...

‘The Simpsons’: Coincidences predictions?

‘The Simpsons’: Coincidences predictions?

Emma Patt, entertainment writer June 11, 2020

You may know that ‘The Simpsons’ is a cult-classic cartoon that has been producing content since 1989, but what you might not know is that the lovable family from Springfield is involved in an extensive,...

With many visits to the gym and rounds of crunches, I’m finally going to achieve an eight-pack. Accomplishing this goal will be simple considering how welcoming and cozy the gym is.

Work it out

Grace Fearheiley, health + wellness editor February 7, 2020

*This piece is entirely satirical This year I worked hard to craft the perfect New Year’s resolution. With many visits to the gym and rounds of crunches, I’m finally going to achieve an eight-pack....

Post-Christmas winter is boring, dreary and stressful. Heres a guide to get you through it.

Winter Survival Guide

Megan Glasgow, features writer January 19, 2020

*This story is entirely satirical. Now that the excitement of the winter holidays is wearing off, the harshest months of the year have finally arrived. January: the month of sickness, stress and slipping...

How to actually find your soulmate

How to actually find your soulmate

Maisie Bradley, PR Editor April 25, 2019

*This piece is entirely satirical With the surge of homecoming proposal posters behind us, it’s easy to feel yourself get discouraged of ever finding true love, especially since we all know how perfect...

Art by Maggie Burton

You’ve got a (really good) friend in me

Malcia Greene, entertainment editor April 22, 2019

*This piece is entirely satirical. “We need to talk.” Four of the most terrifying words a high schooler can hear. Why? It stems from fear. Fear of confrontation and fear of the unknown. But even...

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