The Kirkwood Call

How to actually find your soulmate

How to actually find your soulmate

Maisie Bradley, PR Editor

April 25, 2019

*This piece is entirely satirical With the surge of homecoming proposal posters behind us, it’s easy to feel yourself get discouraged of ever finding true love, especially since we all know how perfect each one of those relationships has been for our peers. As far as I’m concerned, one of those poster...

You’ve got a (really good) friend in me

You’ve got a (really good) friend in me

Malcia Greene, entertainment editor

April 22, 2019

*This piece is entirely satirical. “We need to talk.” Four of the most terrifying words a high schooler can hear. Why? It stems from fear. Fear of confrontation and fear of the unknown. But even worse—fear of one godforsaken alternative: the friend zone. There, there, my fellow peers, I...

The leftie struggle

The leftie struggle

Grace Klebe, news editor

March 5, 2019

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I peaked in middle school

I peaked in middle school

Allie Hickenbotham, copy editor

February 28, 2018

art by Celia Bergman *This piece is entirely satirical When people hear the words “middle school” they cringe, gag and maybe even faint. However, I am not one of those people. Those were the best three years of my life. I dread driving to KHS every morning and wish I could hop off the bus at the gl...

Lefties are always right

Lefties are always right

Hannah Cohen, editor-in-chief

November 28, 2017

*This piece is entirely satirical There’s truly nothing better than being left-handed. If you’ve never had the ever-thrilling experience of complete left-side dominance then you have no room to make assumptions. I could not begin to tell you how amazing we are treated in the school environment. ...

Why swimming isn’t a sport

Why swimming isn’t a sport

Allie Hickenbotham, copy editor

November 17, 2017

 *This piece is entirely satirical If I have to hear about how the Walker family donated a pool to KHS one more time, I swear I’m transferring to Webster. I don’t understand why the swim team needed a new pool anyway. Swimming isn’t even a sport. “Anyone can swim,” Bridget Heartlein, sen...

The sounds of TKC – ASMR

Fitz Cain and Naomi Thompson

November 13, 2017

ASMR (Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response) is a popular internet trend with the purpose of invoking a satisfactory or relaxing tingling sensation on the skin. Social media influencers and YouTubers create ASMR videos doing everything from eating noodles to scratching their beards, all captured by a high ...

Wing Crosby’s eulogy

Wing Crosby’s eulogy

Ally Ortmann, features writer

October 13, 2017

*This piece is entirely satirical, well besides the tragic death of Wing Crosby It seems we know the feeling of grief all too well at KHS. Yet again we have lost one of our own in the wake of the tragic and mysterious passing of our fellow classmate, Wing Crosby. Crosby was presumed dead after being ...

I’ve pad it

I’ve pad it

Fitz Cain, features writer

October 3, 2017

Dear KHS Administration,   It has come to my attention that there has been discussion of removing the most valuable and useful tool we have here at KHS: our iPad Minis. I am not only offended but downright disgusted that you would sabotage my learning experience like this. Shame on you. ...

Never too cool for school

Never too cool for school

Allie Hickenbotham, copy editor

August 31, 2017

I’m getting antsy even as I write this because of how excited I am to be back at school. The majority of students dread going back, but not me. I mean, what’s so awful about waking up to see the sun rise then sitting in a soft, comfortable chair for seven hours straight, five days a week? Sounds...

Kirkwood High School student newspaper
satire